纽约时报文摘 | 万圣节搞怪指南

微信关注:田间小站

万圣节搞怪指南
This Halloween, Be the Talk of the Party

EVERYONE knows that a brilliant conceptual costume will make you the star of the Halloween party. But with each passing year, it becomes harder to stand out. If you really want other partygoers to be surprised and delighted when you reveal “what you are,” these overlooked costumes are sure to be a hit.
每个人都知道一套有着出色噱头的装扮将让你在万圣节派对上成为焦点。但是年复一年,出类拔萃变得越来越难。如果你真想要在显示“真正的自己”时,让其他的派对同伴吃惊和高兴,以下这些被忽视的装扮做派一定会成为大热。

The Red Carpet Treatment
红毯待遇

Spend entire party rubbing stain remover into small strip of red carpeting.
整个派对都用去污笔涂抹一小条红毯。

Going Out on a Limb
形单影

Arrive at party, then immediately leave and spend rest of evening sitting on a branch in the backyard.
到达派对,然后立刻离开,整个晚上坐在后院的树枝上。

Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness
洁净近乎神

Dress as the pope. Lather everyone on dance floor with enormous amounts of Purell.
打扮成教皇。用大量洗手液在每个舞池中的人身上制造泡沫。

The Calm Before the Storm
风暴前的平静

Spend most of party relaxing on couch. As things are winding down, run wildly through room, smashing everything in sight. Announce that, while your costume is now, technically, over, you had previously been “the calm before the storm.”
在沙发上休息来度过大多数的派对时间。当一切都结束了,狂暴地穿过房间,把眼前的东西都砸了。然后宣布,严格的讲,你的装扮角色现在结束了,之前,你是“风暴前的平静”。

Spilling the Beans
撒豆成兵

Arrive at party with a large bowl of refried beans. “Accidentally” drop globs of beans on other guests.
带着一大碗的炸豆子到达派对。“意外”地把豆子撒到其他的客人身上。

Lap of Luxury
豪华范儿

Tape fine cutlery and a bottle of expensive wine to groin. (Bonus idea: Tape hood ornaments from expensive cars to groin.)
把精美的餐具和一瓶昂贵的葡萄酒粘到腹股沟处。(额外的想法,把高档汽车的车标也沾上。)

Not Playing With a Full Deck
不玩全套

Force partygoers to sit down for a friendly game of gin rummy. Announce at end of game that the deck has only 51 cards.
强迫参加派对的人坐下,玩一个友好的金拉米纸牌游戏。在游戏的最后宣布其实只有51张牌。

Play Your Cards Right
正确地玩纸牌

Same as above, only you use entire deck.
和上面一样,只是你使用整套牌

Nothing to Sneeze At
没有什么令人感冒的

Cover yourself in hypoallergenic makeup and lotion. Consider taping packages of Allegra and Claritin to your face.
用低过敏的化妆品和乳液覆盖自己。考虑把艾来锭和克敏能粘到你的脸上。

You Only Live Once
你只活一次

Dress as Danny Zuko from “Grease.” Perform “Greased Lightning.”
打扮成《油脂》里面的丹尼·祖克(Danny Zuko),表演“风驰电掣”舞步。

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
等待另一只鞋的掉落

Remove shoes. Tape one to ceiling insecurely so that it falls right away. Tape second shoe to ceiling more securely and spend entire party staring at it with hopeful expression.
脱下鞋子。把一只鞋子不牢固地粘到屋顶上,所以它会马上掉下来。把另外一只鞋子更好地粘到屋顶上,并且在整个派对中,用充满期盼的眼神看着它。

Wild Goose Chase
徒劳追逐

Arrive with goose. Release goose.
带一只鹅去派对。把鹅放开。

The Naked Truth
赤裸裸的真相

Remove clothing. Invite other partygoers to discuss the meaning of life. (Also works for “You Only Live Once.”)
脱掉衣服。邀请其他的派对同伴讨论生命的意义。(这也对“你只活一次” 有效)

Now We’re Cooking
这才是正事

Violently threaten other partygoers until you have them baking muffins with you in the kitchen. Shout: “Now We’re Cooking!”
暴力地威胁派对同伴直到他们同意和你去厨房烤松饼。大叫“这才是正事!”。

Working on My Bucket List
完成我的愿望篮

Spend party at table composing a lengthy list of buckets of all shapes and sizes.
整个派对在桌子前,大肆列出各种形状和尺寸的篮子。

Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire
才出热锅,又入火堆

Sit in large frying pan throughout most of party. When moment is right, stand up, sprint across room and dive headfirst into fireplace.
整个派对坐在一个大的煎盘上。当时机成熟,站起来,穿过房间,一头扎进壁炉。

All Over the Map
席卷天下

Spread out map. Roll.
打开地图。打滚。

The Full Story
满腹经纶

Consume enormous amounts of food throughout the evening. Occasionally pause to read aloud from The Paris Review.
整个晚上吃大量的食物,偶尔停下时就大声阅读《巴黎评论》。

Living the Dream
梦想成真

Run through party with no pants shouting that it’s the day of the final exam and you haven’t studied. (Alternative: Dress as Danny Zuko and perform “Greased Lightning.”)
不穿裤子跑着穿过派对人群大声叫今天是期末考试的日子,但是你还没有复习。(其他选择:扮成丹尼·祖克,表演“风驰电掣”舞步)。

打赏

微信赞赏支付宝赞赏