英语写作 | 还用FYI?太多余!3步写出专业商业Email

学生问老师:“要怎么写出专业的商业email?”
老师回答:“简洁明了,句子要短。”
学生又问:“怎么写短句子?”

我们今天一起来看一个“三步到位”的商业英文写作策略。进入策略之前,先看这个例句,我们习惯性写出这样的Email句子:

For your information, please be advised that the accounting service details and application form were sent to you on September 10th.(供您参考,在此知会您,我们已于9月10日寄出会计服务的细节和申请表格。)

这个句子太复杂了!简化成以下句子,一目了然:

I’d like to advise you of the details. We sent you the accounting service details and application form on September 10th.

比较这两种写法,哪里相同,哪里不同?仔细观察,你可以看出简洁的沟通的三步到位策略:

第1步:去掉多余的字
第2步:一个句子一个概念
第3步:只用主动语态

fyi-lg

第1步:去掉多余的字

For your information, please be advised that the accounting service details and application form were sent to you on September 10th.

为什么”For your information”是无意义的词,为什么?因为少掉了完全没有影响。

更多参考例子:
1、repeat again→repeat
2、small in size→small
3、cooperate together→cooperate
4、for the purpose of →for

第2步:一个句子一个概念

记住一个原则,句子越短就越容易懂:

一个句子少于10个字,读懂率是98%。
一个句子少于20个字,读懂率是75%。
一个句子多于20个字,读懂率是4%,读者必须一读再读。

Email简洁的原则是一个句子只传达一个概念。判断句子有几个概念,就看它有几个动词。

Please be advised that the accounting service details and application form were sent to you on September 10th.

这个句子有两个动词。”advise”和”sent”,”告知」和”寄出」这两个概念,就分成两句来写,不只是分成两句,甚至可以分成两段,就更好读了。

“I’d like to advise you of the details. We sent you the accounting service details and application form on September 10th.”

第3步:只用主动句态

就句子的字数来看,主动句的字数一定比被动句少,更简单明了。商业沟通尽量用主动语态。只有三种情况例外:

1、不知道是谁做的
My cellphone was stolen yesterday.(我的手机昨天被偷了。)

2、谁做的并不重要
Your application is approved.(你的申请核准了。)

3、刻意模糊做这件事的人
Mistakes were made.(错误已经发生。)
Your request for a lower interest rate has been denied.(你降低利率的申请未通过。)

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